Dog Gone

(Kristy Noem)

I’ve been in the news, with a book to promote
in which I share my views – and that’s where the plot thickens:
I shot my dog, Cricket, and also a goat,
(Seems I punched that dog’s ticket for chasing some chickens.)

That dog? An assassin; the worst kind – a trained one;
I now try to cash in by telling this story.
My choice to attempt to explain: a hair-brained one,
inviting contempt with this rogue allegory.

Unswerving in Congress, I met with a leader
(this story’s self-serving) – the top North Korean.
The issue with that bit of detail, dear reader?
One more epic fail, and I just sound plebeian.

The early reviews are inviting derision;
I’ve called them “fake news” since the book’s yet to publish
(including more tales spun from rank imprecision)…
The sales should be dismal for this kind of rubbish.