Trump, In Verse

The FIFA Peace Prize, soccer’s highest honor, now is mine.
I won it since I’ve settled eight wars; soon it will be nine.
Of all who could have been so celebrated, they chose me!
My odds were pretty good; there was no other nominee.

“This truly is,” I said, “the greatest honor of my life.”
I love to get awards – that’s why I have a trophy wife.
I’ve saved lives in the millions (though some call that an illusion).
Two different kinds of “football”? Let me clear up that confusion.

Americans say “soccer”; to that term, I say, “Farewell.”
It’s really pretty simple, just rename the NFL.
The proper name is “fútbol.” We’ll pretend we’re speaking Spanish.
This prize has made my credibility – and FIFA’s – vanish.