Trump, In Verse

My favorite dance? The Hokey-Pokey.
Most comedians are jokey.
Japanese love karaoke.
Military’s long been wokey.

Entered wars we didn’t win:
we held back, didn’t go all-in.
(In battle I have never been;
had “bone spurs” – much to my chagrin.)

I’ve renamed one department “War” –
a thing I said I’d end. I swore
in just one day, not one hour more,
peace in Ukraine I would restore.

That battle’s proved a little tough…
Vlad Putin sorta called my bluff.
We met once, which was not enough.
I’m in his thrall. He thinks I’m fluff.

I hope to win a prize for peace
for all hostilities I’ve ceased
(I’ve said it’s seven at the least).
Yet, I’m both belly and the beast.

Let’s call it “War” and not “Defense.”
This change (which comes at great expense)
just stokes my ego (it’s immense).
Troops to Chicago I’ll dispense.

As Pritzker cries, “You can’t invade us!”
Screw you, Posse Comitatus.
I thrive on writs of mandamus.
Constitution? On hiatus.

My administration’s horrible.
All these actions are deplorable,
risking – it’s not allegorical –
chances of a Civil War it will.