Trump, In Verse

Look over there… OBAMA!
That man committed treason.
Forget the Epstein drama…
(and headlines that it’s seizin’).

I fired that numbers lady,
who cooked the hiring numbers.
(The truth is: I’m afraid we
have a workforce that’s in slumbers.)

I’ll cut all prices bigly
(by more than math permits).
Economists all dig me
less than Scott Bessent admits.

My polls are in a nose-dive
as tariffs start to kick in.
I pray to God with closed eyes
as my greatness takes a lickin’.

I begged them down in Texas
to rig a gerrymander,
with hopes that the effect is
to make MAGA’s power grander.

I climbed upon the White House roof
and gazed up at the sky,
as though astride the great Pont Neuf.
I’ll build my own Versailles.

I’m starting to sound desperate.
Perhaps I should stop shrieking –
and give the country respite
from the havoc I am wreaking.