Trump, In Verse

The Epstein Files have caused a schism;
MAGA’s full of criticism.
Bondi, Kash Patel, Bongino
disagree on how much we know.
Bondi said she had the list,
but now claims it does not exist.
Patel’s remaining noncommittal
and plays both sides against the middle.
Bongino’s saying, “Fan – meet shit.”
(The rumor mill says he will quit.)
I’ll put this whole mêlée to sleep
by saying my ex-friend’s a creep.
I said I would release the files –
but who’s against that? Susie Wiles.
My desperate move of last resort –
revoking Rosie O’s passport.
I once said Epstein liked them young;
I really should have bit my tongue.
These files, I now say, are a hoax –
yet fire’s oft found where something smokes.
My “boys” and, in some cases, “gals”
are offering up rationales
for saying Bondi should be canned.
This chaos is, for me, on-brand.