Trump, In Verse

I don’t know what a “shylock” is, because I’ve never read a book.
My teachers used to offer them to me: “Here, Donny – take a look…”
They told me Shakespeare wrote some plays, their language crafted with precision.
I said, “What’s so great about him if he’s not on television?”

“Shylock,” I have now been told, is offered as a Jewish slur.
I never knew who Shylock was – was he a him, or she a her?
A character within a play about some merchant who’s Venetian.
I think Cats is awesome; by comparison, Shakespeare’s excretion.

Shakespeare was a writer who, it’s said, lived long ago in Britain.
Some say Willie’s theater pieces, like my books, were all ghost-written.
Here, I’ll just plead ignorance and hope that we can start afresh.
And since I’ve taken office, you now pay less for each pound of flesh.