Trump, In Verse

If you’ve got an itch, a chainsaw is a risky choice to scratch it.
If a cut calls for a scalpel, then you shouldn’t use a hatchet.
If you’re looking for a job, you’d best stay out of public service,
since the odds against stability would likely make you nervous.

If you work for Elon Musk, you might know something about coding.
If you want to go to space, don’t use a craft that keeps exploding.
If you use the word “transgender” when you really mean “transgenic”
then, as far as ignoramuses are graded – you’re authentic.

If you vow to launch a trade war, followed by a quick reversal,
and if January 6th was put on as a dress rehearsal;
if you shill shoes, watches, Bibles, bitcoin, trading cards, and perfume –
you’re the kind of guy who’ll tell a gal what she should do with her womb.

If you nominate, for leadership, your most steadfast supporters,
if you get rid of a free press, and hand-pick your own reporters,
if you’re focused not on rectitude but rather on reprisal –
then you’ve clearly proved your aptitude at earning our despisal.