Leader of the Brand

I’m happy to announce I have installed myself as Chairman of
the Center named for Kennedy (the ex-Prez, John Fitzpatrick),
because last year they staged Drag Shows which could lead to the impairment of
our youth. Therefore, the shows I stage will lean toward geriatric.

Now, perhaps you all are wondering where I will find the time to
take on yet another challenge while still serving as your POTUS.
Well, that’s easy: I’ve got Elon Musk at hand, who I’ve assigned to
handle all the heavy lifting – such as finding where the bloat is.

My attraction to the arts could best be labeled as “incipient,”
but I’m really quite well-versed in all artistical performance.
When it comes to big awards, I’ll be the first-in-line recipient
as the leader of this Center – then I’ll take on a few more stints:

When it’s time to watch the Emmys (I don’t know when the event is)
(and it’s not just television… Tinseltown is where fame beckoned)
I’ll receive a retroactive statuette for “The Apprentice,”
and collect an Oscar for my role in “Home Alone” (the second).

Then I’ll swing out to the Grammys, where I’ll win for my recording
where I spoke aloud the Pledge, backed by the J6 Prison Choir boys.
It was Number 1 on iTunes, so for that I am awarding
kudos for Lifetime Achievement; category: Undesired Noise.

So, this only leaves the Tonys, for performances of stagecraft,
as the one remaining prize before the sobriquet of “EGOT.”
But you’ve seen me trod the boards at rallies, speaking of delayed graft –
if that doesn’t qualify, then I’ll perform, “To be, or be not.”

There are many prizes left for which I feel I am deserving,
like the Nobel Prize; their leadership is one I’ll be contacting.
This incessant need for adulation some might call self-serving,
but when undermining all that’s good and decent – I’m not acting.