Trump, In Verse

JD Vance
To run for higher office surely takes a lot of gumption –
particularly when you’re not the slightest qualified.
To prove this point, I spun a tale regarding pet consumption
and then blamed “illegal aliens” for dog- and cat-ricide.

Confronted with the facts, I will not offer a retraction.
And neither will my running mate, who sits atop our ticket.
We’re sticking to our story, though a heinous malefaction.
The truth is inconvenient; therefore, down the road we’ll kick it.

I think the former POTUS and myself comprise a great team;
we both believe that we’ll prevail by making “others” lesser.
Our strategy: we’ll get votes by the ton once we make hate seem
like a credible emotion, with compassion the transgressor.

The Haitians who we point our fingers at have legal status,
and stealing people’s pets is not a staple of their diet.
We’ll bat away the facts as quickly as they are thrown at us –
while dodging culpability for starting a race riot.