Trump, In Verse

I saw this on the television: seems that any Haitian will
devour cats and dogs. Their appetite for pets? Insatiable.
They come into our country and, without a pause, they make a beeline;
once it’s time for dinner, they’ll serve fried plantains. Main course is feline.
Eating pets is not the kind of meal that I’d call “Yankee Doodle.”
They’ll go home with doggy bags which – probably – are full of poodle.

Greatest Of All Time – I’m not: as President, and now Debater.
She seemed well-prepared, whereas I wasn’t. Ohmigod, I hate her.
All I did was point at her; I really didn’t interact,
and spent my time on stage tossing out claims largely devoid of fact.
I asked: why hadn’t she accomplished much in three years and a half?
(In my case – nine years, still no health plan. Infrastructure? What a laugh.)

The rules we both agreed to clearly stated: crosstalk not allowed –
but I went off the rails once she impugned the sizes of my crowds.
My talk of cancer-causing windmills, and fictitious Hannibal,
(who only dines on people, therefore he’s a proper cannibal)
can lull the mob to sleep, she said. I disagreed with her assailin’.
(Also – there’s a town in Colorado turning Venezuelan.)

She sidestepped a few; I hardly answered any of the questions.
Every time she baited me, I came back with insane suggestions.
After this debate – another? I’ve said that I’m “less inclined,”
and if that invitation comes, I think perhaps it’s best declined.
What’s the purpose of debates? They show what candidates are made of.
She showed she has gravitas – and I showed who I’m most afraid of.