Trump, In Verse

Soldiers who get medals are quite often in bad shape.
That’s a comment I made recently, that left some mouths agape.
The award I give civilians is the better one, I said –
since the one that goes to soldiers means they’re shot, or even dead.

There’s one medal named for Honor, and the other one for Freedom.
They’re “equivalent,” I said – so I’m not certain why we need ‘em
both when one is clearly better, since recipients are healthy.
(I once gave one to a woman who’s both beautiful and wealthy.)

It seems every time I open up my mouth to speak of troops,
I say something that, instead of praise, results in only, “Oops!”
Words like “losers,” “suckers,” “captured” are among the things I’ve uttered,
so I cater to the rich since I know how my bread is buttered.

I’m sure all are now familiar that I managed to avert
from serving in the military ‘cause I claimed that my feet hurt.
I have said avoiding STDs made me a hero (sort of),
and yet honor, valor, bravery – these qualities I’m short of.