He’s Selling a Bible? Holy Writ!

Let’s Make America Pray Again! It seems that no one’s doing so.
But now I’ve put a Bible out (the only one that I endorse).
I read mine almost every day when I’m not busy suing those
who slander me (like Stormy D. – the one whose face is like a horse).

This Bible comes with print that’s large – the biggest that there’s ever been.
Each word of Jesus found in red, and every single page gold-gilded;
makes it easier to read and pick out all those favorite sins
that Christ says you are not supposed to do. (Aw, what the hell… I still did.)

Inside, there’s a copy of the pledge I say about our flag,
our Independence Declaration, Bill of Rights, the Constitution.
While you know I’m humble, modest, gracious, and don’t like to brag –
you’ll see that every here and there I’ve added modest contributions:

Adultery thou shalt commit. If you’re not caught, you didn’t steal it.
You may bear false witness (if it’s Engoron, I will harangue him).
Coveting is awesome! Lots of audio where I reveal it.
Most of all: thou shalt not kill – except for Mike Pence; let’s go hang him.

As I shill this Bible, one may wonder who would spend the dough
to purchase something authored by the January 6 inciter.
Jesus died for all your sins – but not mine. Yet, as quid pro quo,
while I still take top-billing, the Messiah served as my ghost-writer.