Trump, In Verse

I’m a proud political dissident, who used to run the show.
I stand before you now, with trademark braggadocio,
to say obliteration’s looming on the next horizon.
(And also World War III, the one which everybody dies in.)
And if you do not vote for me, your life fast-tracks to hell;
if Biden wins – then grab your ankles, kiss your ass farewell.
Bloodshed, chaos, violent crimes, and even some things grimmer:
gas stoves will be uninstalled, and lightbulbs will be dimmer.
I believe in freedom – freedom from the rule of law:
January 6th was nothing like what all you saw.
I held on to documents and hid them in a bathroom.
And that woman I assaulted? She’ll have the last laugh soon.
Jack Smith and those DAs are all in it for the long game.
Recently, I called my wife Melania the wrong name.
A dissident opposes what is thought authoritarian,
and if I win a second term – it’s sure to be a scary one.