Never The Twain Shall Meet

It was Mark Twain who said, “When in doubt, tell the truth.”
But what does that scamp know? He’s dead.
Compared to his wit, my behavior’s uncouth –
so, I’d rather recount lies instead.

Doctors make profits from death count inflation.
Covid? That corner’s been rounded.
The basement is Joe Biden’s favorite location.
I offer assertions unfounded.

Hundreds of thousands of votes come from cheating.
Lots of new wall at the border.
Vaccines are coming, I keep on entreating.
I tweet in all caps, “LAW & ORDER!”

Children learn hate when it comes to our history.
Alliances? I will betray them.
Tax situation’s no longer a mystery;
for many years, I didn’t pay them.

Election integrity I will impugn,
yet my rallies have caused super-spreading.
If you vote for Biden, you’ll find out there’ll soon
be no Christmas, no Easter, no weddings.

In this campaign, just a few days remain
to assert claims increasingly specious.
Through all of my lies, there is one truth that’s plain:
Twain would surely – for once – be left speechless.