Up To Batty

If we stop testing now, we’d have very few cases.
If kings were the highest card, no need for aces.
If pigs could fly, we’d need a new source for bacon.
If you think I know what I’m doing – you’re mistaken.

If you avoid doctors, you’ll never get sick.
You’re the best ’til I fire you – and then you’re a prick.
If you don’t wear a mask, that’s your choice; I can’t force you.
I’m tweeting out racist tropes? That I of course knew.

If all shoes had Velcro, we wouldn’t need laces.
COVID-19 we’ve got down to mere traces.
My rally is safe – yet a waiver you must sign.
Don’t sweat, Oklahoma: I’m sure you’ll be just fine.

John Bolton has written a book of pure fiction.
His copious notes illustrate his depiction
How I hold an office for which I’m not fit.
By the way – Mike Pompeo thinks I’m full of shit.

Lately, it seems, I’ve become more erratic,
With plenty more bats nesting up in my attic.
Insisting all polls showing I am behind
Are in error just means: I am out of my mind.